A marriage in Kyrgyzstan is realized in respect of various customs. Indeed, the Kyrgyz people place great importance on traditions, especially when it comes to an event that will change the life of a community member. To clarify the subject for you, here is a closer look at marriage in Kyrgyzstan.

« Kudalap Ketuu »: the marriage proposal

In Kyrgyzstan as elsewhere, it is necessary to ask the parents for their daughter's hand before discussing the wedding ceremony. According to local custom, it is the parents of the young man who undertake this step. This first stage called « kudalap ketuu » consists of seeking the consent of the father and mother of the future bride. If they give a positive answer, the two parties arrange a meeting during which the parents of the young man bring earrings as a gift.

Once, the parents of the future newlyweds agreed on the marriage of their children well before their birth. This practice is no longer current, except among a few conservative families.

« Soiko Saluu »: the engagement

Once the marriage proposal is accepted, it is time to move to the engagement or « soiko saluu ». On this occasion, the parents of the young man offer earrings and clothing to the future bride. Beyond that, they offer a sheep to the in-laws. As soon as the earrings are received, the girl is no longer free and will marry shortly. Her parents then begin the preparations and make the wedding items: cushions, blankets, curtains, etc. The young woman will then deposit them in the home of her future husband as furnishings and decoration.

« Bata Toi »: the blessing feast

During this event, the parents of the fiancé, accompanied by a few close ones (about 10 people), visit his companion's home with the following items:

• A sheep, a cow, or a horse

• Clothing for the girl's parents (kiyit)

• Sweets

The parents of the young man must also pay the kalym, or the « bride price ». This is a sum of money to be given to the parents of the girl so they can bring her home. The amount depends on the social and financial status of the family. The money is not kept by the fiancée's parents, but goes to be used for her dowry. It is used, among other things, to purchase equipment for the girl (such as furniture) and clothing for the guests. Once these steps are completed, the date of the wedding is set.

« Kyz Uzatuu »: the escorting of the girl to her husband's home

During the « kyz uzatuu », the future bride is escorted to her husband's house. The entire village is invited at the time of the wedding preparations. On this occasion, the sheep, cow, or horse brought by the fiancé's parents is cut up. At the same time, the fiancée has her hair braided by her sisters-in-law. This ceremony symbolizes the promise's devotion to adult life.

The wedding day

When the big day arrives, a succession of rites takes place throughout the celebration. A symbolic game in the form of a small obstacle course is performed to « win the girl according to the norms »: to begin, the future husband is accompanied by his friends to sing in unison and ask to see his future companion. The women of the ceremony then attempt to slow down the fiancé's progress by creating various obstacles on the path leading to the bride. Throughout the course, money is distributed to the women so they agree to let the men pass.

Once this small theater is finished, the man takes the hand of his sweetheart and takes her in the car decorated for the occasion. The festivities follow, which will take place in two parts:

• During the day, the newlyweds take a car ride; a celebration is scheduled for the younger guests.

• In the early evening, family, close ones, friends and honored guests gather at the chosen venue to celebrate, dance, drink and eat.

Marriage by abduction: an ancient practice now forbidden in Kyrgyzstan

Once, marriage by abduction or « Ala Kachuu » was commonplace in Kyrgyzstan. It was a form of forced marriage that consisted of abducting the future bride from her family by force. Although still practiced in a few Central Asian and African countries, as well as in the Caucasus region, this rite is currently forbidden in Kyrgyzstan due to the somewhat « barbaric » nature of this tradition. Nevertheless, some conservative Kyrgyz families still perpetuate this tradition, but in a symbolic manner. The small role-play described in the previous paragraph is an example of this.